Sunday, December 4, 2011
Encouragement for my Impatience
"Now, I can rest in the assurance that if this is to be, it isn’t up to me. It’s up to God. I give what I can give. And then WAIT for HIM to give ONLY what HE can give." I feel God led these words to me through Lysa TerKeurst. They were so encouraging for me as I struggle with impatience as we wait for our foster child. I know in my heart that HIS timing is PERFECT. I'm just so anxious to "know how our family is going to look a week from now and even more exciting to provide motherly love for a little child.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
How will we find our Child in Waiting?
We have approved the multi-paged profile that our social worker, Brenda has spent loads of hours completing. Side note on Brenda: she is such a great woman. Her job is so admirable, she works incredibly hard and handles tough situations with such wisdom. She was the one who provided us with our 12 week training and is so knowledgeable and very patient with our many questions. We look forward with continuing to interact with her.
There are different avenues as to which we may be placed with a child(ren). Tomorrow we go to a "Matching Event" in Norristown. From how it has been explained, it is similar to a job fair in that Jeff and I will circulate around to different tables that surrounding counties have set up. At the tables, they have profile sheets on the available children and we ask further questions on any of the children we may be interested in. We are told that it will seem, "not right," feeling like we are "shopping" for a child, but it is how the process goes. At least the children are not present-my heart would not be able to take that. So we'll see how that experience goes.
Another option is the SWAN network. They have a website that posts the available children in I think all of the state of Pennsylvania. If there is a child we are interested in, we call to find out more information.
Brenda is also a part of county placement networks. She is informed on available children and if it seems like a possible fit for us, she will call us to present the option to pursue things further.
Once we find a child(ren) that we are interested in bringing into our family, I believe Brenda submits our profile to the children's social worker and they decide if we would be a good fit. Honestly, I don't remember the next step... I'll have to ask about that! After that I think it depends on the situation as to how we would acclimate the child into our family if we are chosen.
So it could happen fast, it could happen slow, or of course not even at all. Only God's timing will tell!
There are different avenues as to which we may be placed with a child(ren). Tomorrow we go to a "Matching Event" in Norristown. From how it has been explained, it is similar to a job fair in that Jeff and I will circulate around to different tables that surrounding counties have set up. At the tables, they have profile sheets on the available children and we ask further questions on any of the children we may be interested in. We are told that it will seem, "not right," feeling like we are "shopping" for a child, but it is how the process goes. At least the children are not present-my heart would not be able to take that. So we'll see how that experience goes.
Another option is the SWAN network. They have a website that posts the available children in I think all of the state of Pennsylvania. If there is a child we are interested in, we call to find out more information.
Brenda is also a part of county placement networks. She is informed on available children and if it seems like a possible fit for us, she will call us to present the option to pursue things further.
Once we find a child(ren) that we are interested in bringing into our family, I believe Brenda submits our profile to the children's social worker and they decide if we would be a good fit. Honestly, I don't remember the next step... I'll have to ask about that! After that I think it depends on the situation as to how we would acclimate the child into our family if we are chosen.
So it could happen fast, it could happen slow, or of course not even at all. Only God's timing will tell!
Feelings on being Officially Approved
Well as of November 17, 2011 we are officially deemed capable of fostering/adopting a child!
Enter in a whole new set of emotions. Up until now...I wasn't really feeling anxious (just impatient:) because I knew our paperwork still had to be finalized, so getting a life-changing phone call in this area of life was not possible. Well, now the reality has sunk in that at ANY time we can get a phone call that can and will change all of our lives forever. Forever is a long time and our life now is really great. Of course not perfect, but really great. But the desire to expand our family is even greater. It is an inexplicable feeling. I feel I have genuinely given the feeling to God. Asked over the years for lack of confirmation or a change of feelings if this wasn't the direction He was leading us. None of that came, so we have just kept continuing to take the steps and are just waiting with anticipation as to what is coming next.
I also feel that I have been consciously trying to rid of any preconceived ideas or notions of how I think things are going to be. Through our training and others' stories God has been making it clear that there is an infinite amount of scenarios that could come into play. When I was pregnant, there was a very probable outcome....that a baby would arrive in nine months give or take. There was the excitement of not knowing if we would have a boy or a girl, but we knew an infant made up of the combo of our genes would be arriving. Comparably, it is so strange knowing so little about what our family will look like nine months from now. We don't know what gender, race, age, parents, and even if it will be one or two! We don't even know how long this child(ren) will be a part of our family. Being known as "the Planner" in my family...this is very ironic. I am so glad that when the anxiety hits, I can step back and fully know that the God of the universe has this all perfectly figured out. He is the Giver of life and I do not for a second doubt that His fingerprints are all over this journey. His grace will be sufficient and His strength, abundant.
Enter in a whole new set of emotions. Up until now...I wasn't really feeling anxious (just impatient:) because I knew our paperwork still had to be finalized, so getting a life-changing phone call in this area of life was not possible. Well, now the reality has sunk in that at ANY time we can get a phone call that can and will change all of our lives forever. Forever is a long time and our life now is really great. Of course not perfect, but really great. But the desire to expand our family is even greater. It is an inexplicable feeling. I feel I have genuinely given the feeling to God. Asked over the years for lack of confirmation or a change of feelings if this wasn't the direction He was leading us. None of that came, so we have just kept continuing to take the steps and are just waiting with anticipation as to what is coming next.
I also feel that I have been consciously trying to rid of any preconceived ideas or notions of how I think things are going to be. Through our training and others' stories God has been making it clear that there is an infinite amount of scenarios that could come into play. When I was pregnant, there was a very probable outcome....that a baby would arrive in nine months give or take. There was the excitement of not knowing if we would have a boy or a girl, but we knew an infant made up of the combo of our genes would be arriving. Comparably, it is so strange knowing so little about what our family will look like nine months from now. We don't know what gender, race, age, parents, and even if it will be one or two! We don't even know how long this child(ren) will be a part of our family. Being known as "the Planner" in my family...this is very ironic. I am so glad that when the anxiety hits, I can step back and fully know that the God of the universe has this all perfectly figured out. He is the Giver of life and I do not for a second doubt that His fingerprints are all over this journey. His grace will be sufficient and His strength, abundant.
Monday, October 24, 2011
A smidgen closer!
After waiting with absolutely no progress since mid-summer, I was so happy to hear today that our profile is coming along and that our references are being checked! I am keeping my feet grounded knowing that it could still be a long time, but at least there is movement.
We are excited to go to an Adoption Awareness event put on by Focus on the Family, right in Lansdale this Saturday. http://www.icareaboutorphans.org/Pennsylvania.aspx It will be a great chance to rekindle our excitement as it's been tough waiting, without being able to do anything.
Whenever I get inpatient, it is so comforting to know that God already has it all worked out. I believe He has placed this desire our hearts for a reason and I am sooo excited about the possibility of growing our family in such a special way.
We are excited to go to an Adoption Awareness event put on by Focus on the Family, right in Lansdale this Saturday. http://www.icareaboutorphans.org/Pennsylvania.aspx It will be a great chance to rekindle our excitement as it's been tough waiting, without being able to do anything.
Whenever I get inpatient, it is so comforting to know that God already has it all worked out. I believe He has placed this desire our hearts for a reason and I am sooo excited about the possibility of growing our family in such a special way.
Monday, August 29, 2011
While we wait....
The home study went really well. Our caseworker checked out the house and then interviewed us for about an hour and a half (Thanks to Kim for taking the kids and keeping them occupied:).
It was actually an enjoyable time. We were able to answer the questions in a way that represented us and our family and solidified our motivations for wanting to adopt. That was the encouraging part. The discouraging part was that our caseworker told us how much time it takes to gather all our information into our profile and how understaffed and behind they are at the moment. The homestudy was 5 weeks ago, so I checked in with her last week and didn't receive a promising timeline.
We knew from the start that waiting would be a huge part of this process. Initially I was dissapointed, then I really felt at peace about knowing it would take awhile, and as of late...I'm getting restless again. I'm thinking it will continue to be a roller coaster of emotions. There will be times when I will be strong and steady and other times where I will be frustrated and impatient.
In the meanwhile, we had a taste of fostering last week. Friends of ours who introduced us to Friendship House currently have an 8 year old foster boy and his sister, who is 2. Our friends had an opportunity to go to Disney World for business and after much prayer decided it would be best to not take the extremely active 2 year old along. Since we were approved through FH, it was a great fit for us to keep her. It was a wonderful, yet very trying experience!
She is absolutely adorable and absolutely ACTIVE. We could not leave her unattended for a minute. She is curious and adventurous in ways that our kids just never were. Julia was a great help...she was quick to keep me "informed" on all her mishaps. Andrew had a love/hate sibling relationship with her. He got irritated with her one minute, yet he would then be giggling like crazy with her the next. She was totally enamored with Jeff (De-dah), which was endearing and trying for Jeff. So, already long story short, A. was supposed to be here for five days...on the fourth day we received word that our friend (her foster mom) was in the hospital in Fl with kidney stones. What are the chances!? Felt so bad for her and her hubby and the two boys. To make matters more complicated, Irene was on the horizon and a flight home was not definite. So our little houseguest stuck around a few extra days and we reluctantly put our grand plans of organizing and painting the house on hold. I was continually hearing God say People are more important than Tasks. Once again He looked at my agenda and said, "Um..nope, My plan is better. Better than you could ever hope or imagine." The memories of spending time with her are definitely better than memories of "getting things done."
So, perhaps this is just another reminder of how I have to look at this whole adoption process. I want things to go according to my timeline and He is reminding me of His perfect plan for my family's future.
It was actually an enjoyable time. We were able to answer the questions in a way that represented us and our family and solidified our motivations for wanting to adopt. That was the encouraging part. The discouraging part was that our caseworker told us how much time it takes to gather all our information into our profile and how understaffed and behind they are at the moment. The homestudy was 5 weeks ago, so I checked in with her last week and didn't receive a promising timeline.
We knew from the start that waiting would be a huge part of this process. Initially I was dissapointed, then I really felt at peace about knowing it would take awhile, and as of late...I'm getting restless again. I'm thinking it will continue to be a roller coaster of emotions. There will be times when I will be strong and steady and other times where I will be frustrated and impatient.
In the meanwhile, we had a taste of fostering last week. Friends of ours who introduced us to Friendship House currently have an 8 year old foster boy and his sister, who is 2. Our friends had an opportunity to go to Disney World for business and after much prayer decided it would be best to not take the extremely active 2 year old along. Since we were approved through FH, it was a great fit for us to keep her. It was a wonderful, yet very trying experience!
She is absolutely adorable and absolutely ACTIVE. We could not leave her unattended for a minute. She is curious and adventurous in ways that our kids just never were. Julia was a great help...she was quick to keep me "informed" on all her mishaps. Andrew had a love/hate sibling relationship with her. He got irritated with her one minute, yet he would then be giggling like crazy with her the next. She was totally enamored with Jeff (De-dah), which was endearing and trying for Jeff. So, already long story short, A. was supposed to be here for five days...on the fourth day we received word that our friend (her foster mom) was in the hospital in Fl with kidney stones. What are the chances!? Felt so bad for her and her hubby and the two boys. To make matters more complicated, Irene was on the horizon and a flight home was not definite. So our little houseguest stuck around a few extra days and we reluctantly put our grand plans of organizing and painting the house on hold. I was continually hearing God say People are more important than Tasks. Once again He looked at my agenda and said, "Um..nope, My plan is better. Better than you could ever hope or imagine." The memories of spending time with her are definitely better than memories of "getting things done."
So, perhaps this is just another reminder of how I have to look at this whole adoption process. I want things to go according to my timeline and He is reminding me of His perfect plan for my family's future.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Homestudy Tomorrow
Tomorrow we will have our homestudy and interview with our caseworker from Friendship House. She will be checking out our house to ensure that it is a safe and adequate living environment for a child. We've been going through the check list and feel like the house is ready to go! We believe most of our other paperwork is in line as well.
Tomorrow our caseworker will also be asking us lots and lots of questions, observing how our family interacts, and chatting with the kids. If I'm understanding correctly, she will then compile all of that info, along with the autobiography that we had to write (that was not an easy task:) into our profile. And I think once everything is in order on her end, we are ready to start the search. We are planning on getting more information about that tomorrow as well.
We are so excited to finally be moving along.
So if you could be praying that all goes smoothly tomorrow, that would be great!
Tomorrow our caseworker will also be asking us lots and lots of questions, observing how our family interacts, and chatting with the kids. If I'm understanding correctly, she will then compile all of that info, along with the autobiography that we had to write (that was not an easy task:) into our profile. And I think once everything is in order on her end, we are ready to start the search. We are planning on getting more information about that tomorrow as well.
We are so excited to finally be moving along.
So if you could be praying that all goes smoothly tomorrow, that would be great!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
One of my Fave Weekends of the Year
I have always loved Memorial Day weekend. I think because it always falls around my birthday and it always seems to kick-off the summer season (or it had always been a true sign that the end of the school year was in clear view:)
This is why this weekend was so great (and I"m gonna write in bullets bc I am so so ready for bed, but I knew if I didn't jot down my thoughts now, my memories would disappear by time i got around to it):
Friday Night: Seize the Summer, Off the Wall ministries and Poland at a UPCC picnic. LOVE potluck picnics, great to hang with others from church and really really inspirational to dance like crazy to rockin' Christian praise music with the kids. Also really enjoyed hosting two of the gal's from OTW.
Saturday: Stolled around Jakes with the kids, Julia to soccer (more that another time), worked and got stuff done around the house, quick taco dinner and family time at Green Lane Park.Jeff and I planned on watching a movie which ended up being a documentary on financial corruption. Hum, not sure how we so wrongly read the Red Box synopsis on that one. Was informative, but not the cozy movie night we had hoped!
Sunday: Church in the morn, loads of laundry (not fun), family picnic at Derstines. The weather was gorgeous and Mom-Mom had the slip and slide for the cousins (bubbles and all!) It was nice having both sets of parents there--as well as Pop and Karen. Elaine made it special for Jeff and my birthdays as well.
Monday: Up at 5:30am to meet friends at Jakes. I recently met a friend through Julia's preschool, Rachel who is super-great a finding diamonds in the rough... and making them deorative home jewels. I am actually going to be an official DIYer and do something with this: I fell in love bc i know exactly where i want to put it. I HOPE this $10 beauty works out. Hopefully I can report success...
Got this Crate and Barrel piece for $4
This huge set of sturdy Target dishes for a mere $5
Polka Dot pieces for Julia's room (need to go back for a shelf and i'd like to find some other polka dot things)$1.50
These frames (yes, i will ditch the golf pictures) and this bath plaque=total $3
This charming plate holder for $2
Plus, A pampered chef pie server valued at for $2,a beach bag for $1, Cars magazines for nephews, and of course produce.
I LOVE JAKES
So i bought a lot of crap, knowing that I would be going home to meet Jeff for our Garage Crap Removal date.
Saturday night documentaries + garage cleaning= one heck of an exciting couple.
Felt good to clean it out although it took us from 9:30am to around 5pm (of course with a fair share of kid interuptions -although they were very good) and every muscle in my body is now aching. We will be selling the stuff at Elaine and Leon's church and all the money will be donated to Japan relief.
Finally, made one of my faves...Imitation Crab and Veggie Pasta (no, the veggies weren't imiation, they were fresh--from jakes). But i must say I was proud of myself bc it was the second time I used my fresher than fresh HOMEGROWN herbs. This is something I"ve been wanting to do for years...
My up at the crack of dawn self has gotsta get to bed (although i must say, i actually enjoyed getting up early...hummmm)
This is why this weekend was so great (and I"m gonna write in bullets bc I am so so ready for bed, but I knew if I didn't jot down my thoughts now, my memories would disappear by time i got around to it):
Friday Night: Seize the Summer, Off the Wall ministries and Poland at a UPCC picnic. LOVE potluck picnics, great to hang with others from church and really really inspirational to dance like crazy to rockin' Christian praise music with the kids. Also really enjoyed hosting two of the gal's from OTW.
Saturday: Stolled around Jakes with the kids, Julia to soccer (more that another time), worked and got stuff done around the house, quick taco dinner and family time at Green Lane Park.Jeff and I planned on watching a movie which ended up being a documentary on financial corruption. Hum, not sure how we so wrongly read the Red Box synopsis on that one. Was informative, but not the cozy movie night we had hoped!
Sunday: Church in the morn, loads of laundry (not fun), family picnic at Derstines. The weather was gorgeous and Mom-Mom had the slip and slide for the cousins (bubbles and all!) It was nice having both sets of parents there--as well as Pop and Karen. Elaine made it special for Jeff and my birthdays as well.
Monday: Up at 5:30am to meet friends at Jakes. I recently met a friend through Julia's preschool, Rachel who is super-great a finding diamonds in the rough... and making them deorative home jewels. I am actually going to be an official DIYer and do something with this: I fell in love bc i know exactly where i want to put it. I HOPE this $10 beauty works out. Hopefully I can report success...
Got this Crate and Barrel piece for $4
This huge set of sturdy Target dishes for a mere $5
Polka Dot pieces for Julia's room (need to go back for a shelf and i'd like to find some other polka dot things)$1.50
These frames (yes, i will ditch the golf pictures) and this bath plaque=total $3
This charming plate holder for $2
Plus, A pampered chef pie server valued at for $2,a beach bag for $1, Cars magazines for nephews, and of course produce.
I LOVE JAKES
So i bought a lot of crap, knowing that I would be going home to meet Jeff for our Garage Crap Removal date.
Saturday night documentaries + garage cleaning= one heck of an exciting couple.
Felt good to clean it out although it took us from 9:30am to around 5pm (of course with a fair share of kid interuptions -although they were very good) and every muscle in my body is now aching. We will be selling the stuff at Elaine and Leon's church and all the money will be donated to Japan relief.
Finally, made one of my faves...Imitation Crab and Veggie Pasta (no, the veggies weren't imiation, they were fresh--from jakes). But i must say I was proud of myself bc it was the second time I used my fresher than fresh HOMEGROWN herbs. This is something I"ve been wanting to do for years...
My up at the crack of dawn self has gotsta get to bed (although i must say, i actually enjoyed getting up early...hummmm)
Friday, May 6, 2011
The Wild Wacky World of DIY Blogs
If you would have asked me a year or two ago what DIY stood for, I would have no idea. But now, I am finding myself on these Do It Yourself blogs quite frequently. Mom was great at decorating. She had a natural ability for it, but she also studied it (She loved Christopher Lloyd...not sure if that guy is even known any more-note to self to Google him). Anyway, she had a beautiful 8 (I think) layered fruit basket stencil around the soffet of our kitchen that she repeated I think 4 or 5 times. She had patience with craftiness that I don't think I'll ever have, but I have been bit with the desire to have a nicely decorated home.
Here is my I go on these super cool blogs and then find myself on another blog, then another, then another and I find myself saying, "Oh that's so cool, I could do that!" "That looks easy enough..." "Oohh I love that!" "That seems inexpensive to pull off" and so on and so on. I have been repeating this cycle for about two months and have I tried anything? No. I spend my time loooooking and not doing. I add the blogs to my "Favorites" where they just sit as a link in cyberworld.
So I've decided to make Becca Do List by room (in no particular order)
~~~Basement: Hang pictures, Paint the huge tree mural in the basement to chart the kids growth and celebrate Family Tree Heritage. Example from
The Real Housewives of Bucks County
~~~Figure out how to pull Kitchen together:
Mini Mirror Mural wall?, Paint chip border? Bird art? Hang plates, install ceiling fan
~~~ Julia's room: Finish Birdie clothesline, Figure out how to do lettering, Hang frames
~~~ Andrew's room: Paint tan, hang road sides, lettering
~~~Bedroom: Paint light blue, Large room stencil, hang curtains, hang pictures, headboard
~~~Kids' bathroom: Paint Teal and Orange, hang pictures, Julia's Octopus picture, lettering "All creatures great and small the Lord, Our God made them all"
~~~Laundry Room: Paint, Spray shelves?, add organization baskets, cute Laundry picture
~~~Powder Room: Spray paint fixtures, replace faucet? Hang wooden crate, eventually peel wallpaper and repaint.
Here is my I go on these super cool blogs and then find myself on another blog, then another, then another and I find myself saying, "Oh that's so cool, I could do that!" "That looks easy enough..." "Oohh I love that!" "That seems inexpensive to pull off" and so on and so on. I have been repeating this cycle for about two months and have I tried anything? No. I spend my time loooooking and not doing. I add the blogs to my "Favorites" where they just sit as a link in cyberworld.
So I've decided to make Becca Do List by room (in no particular order)
~~~Basement: Hang pictures, Paint the huge tree mural in the basement to chart the kids growth and celebrate Family Tree Heritage. Example from
The Real Housewives of Bucks County
~~~Figure out how to pull Kitchen together:
Mini Mirror Mural wall?, Paint chip border? Bird art? Hang plates, install ceiling fan
~~~ Julia's room: Finish Birdie clothesline, Figure out how to do lettering, Hang frames
~~~ Andrew's room: Paint tan, hang road sides, lettering
~~~Bedroom: Paint light blue, Large room stencil, hang curtains, hang pictures, headboard
~~~Kids' bathroom: Paint Teal and Orange, hang pictures, Julia's Octopus picture, lettering "All creatures great and small the Lord, Our God made them all"
~~~Laundry Room: Paint, Spray shelves?, add organization baskets, cute Laundry picture
~~~Powder Room: Spray paint fixtures, replace faucet? Hang wooden crate, eventually peel wallpaper and repaint.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Nurturing vs Controling
I read this from an online article on the Focus on the Family website and wanted to refer back to it at some point (I like using the blog this way...better than jotting it down on a random piece of paper or journal page, never to be read again:)
Like dads, though, moms have a natural urge to protect their children. That can lead them to cross the line between nurturing and futile attempts at control...(they provide examples of a mom protecting/allowing her kids freedom in different life-stage situations).
Finding balance means continually going back and forth between the healthy desire to give my kids freedom and my God-given urge to keep them safe.
You can't control the results, but you can stir in the right ingredients. You can seek to know your children as individuals, different as they might be, and bring out the best in each. You can demonstrate by example how to explore life with zest and express the unique gifts God provides each of us. Your nurturing can blossom in emotional and spiritual growth.
Like dads, though, moms have a natural urge to protect their children. That can lead them to cross the line between nurturing and futile attempts at control...(they provide examples of a mom protecting/allowing her kids freedom in different life-stage situations).
Finding balance means continually going back and forth between the healthy desire to give my kids freedom and my God-given urge to keep them safe.
You can't control the results, but you can stir in the right ingredients. You can seek to know your children as individuals, different as they might be, and bring out the best in each. You can demonstrate by example how to explore life with zest and express the unique gifts God provides each of us. Your nurturing can blossom in emotional and spiritual growth.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
So what is the next step?
Now that we are finished the training it's paperwork galore. We already got our clearances, but need to complete: our application and autobiography, our fingerprinting, our physicals, our home study along with a I think 3 hour interview, and a bunch of other odds and ends.
I am not super-great at motivating myself when i don't have a set timeline, but I am chipping away at stuff and it's coming along. I'm not sure what the total timeframe until we are officially approved will be. I think it will depend on how quickly we submit everything, and the amount of work our caseworker (CW) has going on (she works sooo hard..you would never believe all of the hats she wears in one day).
This is how I am understanding the rest of the process (but I could be wrong, bc it's not totally clear in my mind):
-After we are finally approved as resource parents, we have an established "Profile."
-We wait until our CW calls us with a possibility that might suit our family (she hears about possible children through surrounding counties and other resources), we must quickly decide if we are interested or not. I've heard adoptive families call this "shopping" and it sounds TOTALLY strange, but in a way that's what is going on.
-Anyway, if we are interested our CW will submit our profile to the child or children's (yes, we are open to a sibling group of two:), CW. That CW will review our profile, along with all those other interested applicants (I believe this could be up to about 40), and selects I believe three applicants to interview. Yes, this sounds like a job interview process now.
-If they believe we are a good fit, depending on the child's situation, we meet with them informally with our CW about three times, and then he/she/they comes to live with us.
-Again, depending on the situation and their status (if they are open for adoption, or just foster or foster with the possibility of adoption...) we take it from there.
Exhale and trust. I think I just decided that will be my mantra:)
If you are reading this that means you are interested in our journey and we are so grateful for that. PLEASE feel free to ask any questions along the way as we will be as open as we are permitted to be.
Another Step Ahead
Last week we finished our 12 week training sessions! It was a pretty big time commitment to leave the kids every Wednesday evening around 5p and not get home until 9p but we were SO blessed to have a rotation of around a dozen friends and family members who were willing to watch the kids during that time! All went so smoothly on the homefront.
It was well worth the time. Each week we learned about different aspects of the adoption/fostering process:
Overview, Child Welfare Team, Effects of Abuse and Neglect (an emotional night), Attachment and Separation, Discipline, Cultural Issues, Primary Families, Sexual Abuse (another tough topic), Effects on the Family, Permanency Issues for Children and Family. It was tons of information and at times lots to process, but our case worker was very knowledgable and super patient with our lack of knowledge.
There is still so much to learn, but we definitely feel more confident about the process and our level of excitement and anticipation is continuing to rise.
Eventhough it has been made clear that there will be lots of challenges along the way, we still feel that this is the road that God wants us to travel. The last night of training was an extra measure of encouragment. A family with with two biological children and two adopted children came in to speak, and their family and their family story was just so beautiful that only the Master Weaver could have woven it together. Through trials and painful pasts, this family was full of grace and love for each other. Sometimes I wonder, "This is crazy, what the heck are we doing?!?!" But then it seems that I am reminded to just take it step by step and trust.
It was well worth the time. Each week we learned about different aspects of the adoption/fostering process:
Overview, Child Welfare Team, Effects of Abuse and Neglect (an emotional night), Attachment and Separation, Discipline, Cultural Issues, Primary Families, Sexual Abuse (another tough topic), Effects on the Family, Permanency Issues for Children and Family. It was tons of information and at times lots to process, but our case worker was very knowledgable and super patient with our lack of knowledge.
There is still so much to learn, but we definitely feel more confident about the process and our level of excitement and anticipation is continuing to rise.
Eventhough it has been made clear that there will be lots of challenges along the way, we still feel that this is the road that God wants us to travel. The last night of training was an extra measure of encouragment. A family with with two biological children and two adopted children came in to speak, and their family and their family story was just so beautiful that only the Master Weaver could have woven it together. Through trials and painful pasts, this family was full of grace and love for each other. Sometimes I wonder, "This is crazy, what the heck are we doing?!?!" But then it seems that I am reminded to just take it step by step and trust.
Friday, April 1, 2011
A Butterfly Represents Hope
This morning I watched a You-tube clip of the song Feels Like I'm Born Again by Third Day. Through the entire songs was beautiful artwork of butterflies...and it reminded me just what a truly magnificent creation the butterfly is and the symbolism it represents. I'm so glad I serve a Beautiful Creator.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Judgemental Attitudes Gotta Go....
We are still attending our Wednesday training meetings through Friendship House. They are going well. We are joined by another couple who has a daughter/stepdaughter who is 36, a single woman who works in a state hospital (boy does she have interesting stories), a single man who seems to be about our age, and another woman who has two young kids as well (her husband will go through the training next time). From day one we have learned so much, not only about the adoption process, but about life. One thing that continues to stick out:
*We have a lot of judgmental attitudes and preconceived thoughts. It seems God keeps pointing out that we judge WAY too quickly and are WAY to prideful about our own lives. Before knowing anyone or their past or present circumstances, we think we have the right to formulate an opinion about them. It will be so important for us to not judge the family that our foster child will be coming from. It may be difficult, especially knowing that it is a very real possibility that abuse will have been involved. But, we are trusting that we will learn to forgive as Christ does, regardless of circumstances and beyond that extend love and grace to her hurting heart.
It has been challenging learning about abuse and neglect the past two weeks. It is just unfathomable in my mind how anyone can inflict such pain on their child. We are continuing to see how very real sin and the affects of it are. I've been wrestling with this during my quiet moments with the Lord. How could you allow this? I don't have a definitive answer, but I did read something this week that I feel like I knew, but it just really resonated with me reading it again. It was something along the lines of how all of nature just does as GOd created it to do (grass just grows, cows moo, flowers bloom...) But He gave us humans only the ability to make decisions because He wanted to be loved by choice. Therefore, he had to create us with the ability to make decisions even ones that sadden Him because it would be worth it for even just one of His creations to choose to love Him. Furthermore, He sent His son so that we could be redeemed of our bad choices so that we could still spend eternity with Him. Sounds confusing, I'll have to clean that up after I find out where I read it! Anyway I just have to remember that God's heart is breaking for these kids as well. It makes me all the more eager to have one in our home to love on like crazy.
*We have a lot of judgmental attitudes and preconceived thoughts. It seems God keeps pointing out that we judge WAY too quickly and are WAY to prideful about our own lives. Before knowing anyone or their past or present circumstances, we think we have the right to formulate an opinion about them. It will be so important for us to not judge the family that our foster child will be coming from. It may be difficult, especially knowing that it is a very real possibility that abuse will have been involved. But, we are trusting that we will learn to forgive as Christ does, regardless of circumstances and beyond that extend love and grace to her hurting heart.
It has been challenging learning about abuse and neglect the past two weeks. It is just unfathomable in my mind how anyone can inflict such pain on their child. We are continuing to see how very real sin and the affects of it are. I've been wrestling with this during my quiet moments with the Lord. How could you allow this? I don't have a definitive answer, but I did read something this week that I feel like I knew, but it just really resonated with me reading it again. It was something along the lines of how all of nature just does as GOd created it to do (grass just grows, cows moo, flowers bloom...) But He gave us humans only the ability to make decisions because He wanted to be loved by choice. Therefore, he had to create us with the ability to make decisions even ones that sadden Him because it would be worth it for even just one of His creations to choose to love Him. Furthermore, He sent His son so that we could be redeemed of our bad choices so that we could still spend eternity with Him. Sounds confusing, I'll have to clean that up after I find out where I read it! Anyway I just have to remember that God's heart is breaking for these kids as well. It makes me all the more eager to have one in our home to love on like crazy.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
We found an Adoption Agency?
We met this really wonderful couple from our new church, UPCC who has adopted a child pretty recently through an organization called Friendship House. I had never heard of them, but checked them out and was immediately happy that they are located right in Pottstown. The lady I spoke with was very personable and let me know about a 12 week training course that was to start Feb. 2 (one meeting each week). I didn't know how it would work out with Jeff still being in basketball season since the meetings are from 5:30p-9:00p, but she said as long as i was there and he wasnt missing too much, there could be some flexibility. I don't feel comfortable just going on "feelings" but this organization just feels right. I was hoping that there was a general orientation, but you just jump right into the training, but after the first meeting I'll feel like we will be able to say a definite yes or no to pursuing things further with them.
It helps that we were able to meet on Sunday with the couple I had mentioned. They had us over to their house to talk about their journey and they had great things to share about their experience with Friendship House. They are actually going through the process again, and after checking out other agencies, decided that they just can match the personal attention they have received. Our time with them was so encouraging, and affirming and honest. These are a few things that I especially want to remember:
*It is a very, very emotional process beginning with the training meetings. Expect lots of tears and prepare for time to process the meeting together.
*It will be a marriage bonding experience.
*There will be a lot of paperwork, procedures...be educated on what is going on.
*Remember that God is sovereign and whether a child is to be with our family for a day or a lifetime, trust that God has ordained us to be a part of that child's life for that period of time.
*Be thankful for the supportive friends, family members and others that we will meet along the way.
* Be aware of and obedient to God's prompting--for it is he who works all things together for good.
Two other encouraging scheduling things-With the 12 weeks, of course that leaves us with needing to find babysitters to come to the house to be with Andrew and Julia. I had spoken to 6 different couples about watching the kids, each willing...i sent out an email about scheduling and within a day, I was able to know that every week would be covered. We are SO blessed to have such supportive people in our lives who we know are happy to watch our kids.
Also, with Jeff's schedule being sooo busy these past couple months and currently-it is amazing that it is working out that Wednesdays are open and that he's able to get there on time to the meetings. This is weather pending, so hopefully it will stay that way.
The first meeting was supposed to be last night, but was cancelled bc of weather. Just another heads up that there will be lots of set-backs!
It helps that we were able to meet on Sunday with the couple I had mentioned. They had us over to their house to talk about their journey and they had great things to share about their experience with Friendship House. They are actually going through the process again, and after checking out other agencies, decided that they just can match the personal attention they have received. Our time with them was so encouraging, and affirming and honest. These are a few things that I especially want to remember:
*It is a very, very emotional process beginning with the training meetings. Expect lots of tears and prepare for time to process the meeting together.
*It will be a marriage bonding experience.
*There will be a lot of paperwork, procedures...be educated on what is going on.
*Remember that God is sovereign and whether a child is to be with our family for a day or a lifetime, trust that God has ordained us to be a part of that child's life for that period of time.
*Be thankful for the supportive friends, family members and others that we will meet along the way.
* Be aware of and obedient to God's prompting--for it is he who works all things together for good.
Two other encouraging scheduling things-With the 12 weeks, of course that leaves us with needing to find babysitters to come to the house to be with Andrew and Julia. I had spoken to 6 different couples about watching the kids, each willing...i sent out an email about scheduling and within a day, I was able to know that every week would be covered. We are SO blessed to have such supportive people in our lives who we know are happy to watch our kids.
Also, with Jeff's schedule being sooo busy these past couple months and currently-it is amazing that it is working out that Wednesdays are open and that he's able to get there on time to the meetings. This is weather pending, so hopefully it will stay that way.
The first meeting was supposed to be last night, but was cancelled bc of weather. Just another heads up that there will be lots of set-backs!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Freedom
I was reading a little story from a kid's devotional book to the kids tonight and the little girl was praying and thanking god for her freedom, and praying for those who live in fear. after reading it, i was thinking, that may have been a little too deep, but thinking that it maybe it would have gone over julia's head--although i knew deep down in wouldn't...and yep, within minutes she was asking what that little girl in the story was talking about. i am constantly amazed at her thought process as a four year old. so i stumbled through a discussion about freedom in the US and how other countries don't have the abilities to make decisions like we do. a part of me was loving the conversation, and another part of me wanting it to be over...partial was fleshly-bc i wanted to get them moving on to bed (selfish, i know, but it was a looooong active day), but a great part was bc it was uncomfortable. how do i explain to a four year old that she has everything and SO much more and there are kids around the world who have nothing? i know god is just, but i feel almost ashamed to have all that i have...and then have the audacity to complain about what i don't have. i try so hard to be so thankful for my family's health and i usually am pretty good about it. whenever i take the kids to the doctor i praise god that i have access to knowledable doctors, transpo to the office, money to pay the bills with insurance and the ability to get medicine that will fix the problem. not today...i was whiney about being inconvenienced when i had to go an hour out of the way to drop off julia's urine sample (that she couldn't give when we were originally there--stage fright, not easy to pee when your mom is holding a cup under you:). the shame that i feel, but the forgiveness i know that is graciously given by my patient Father. the patience He gives me when i question Him and His sovereignty so much. but why? why lord, do i have to explain hunger and hurt and danger to my four year old? why, when i am sitting here in luxury simply bc i was born in the suburbs of Pennsylvania, USA? on the next page was the song, he's got the whole world in his hands...this song means that god loves everyone that he created and protects all of them i explain, convincing myself of the same truths.
i rejoice at julia's tender compassion. during my explanation she brought up haiti. for a while wordfm was encouraging compassion sponsors for haiti, and she was listening and questioning, so i had done a lot of explaining then..but she doesn't forget. she kept asking if we helped. and she wants to give all of the money from a lemonade and cookie sale to haiti. god bless this eager four year old servant. use her to humble me,lord as difficult and sweet that will be.
what will i do with this freedom? will i con't to abuse it, waste it, take advantage of it? you know i want to use my freedom to adopt and bless a hurting child and family with our blessings. but i know there is so much more. keep my eyes, ears, and heart open to how i can constantly be giving and not looking to receive. i have received so much from you and i thank you even in my uncertainties. you are the alpha and the omega and i pray that i can trust in your power.
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