The Foster-to-Adopt Journey Update

This past March, after our short and intense experience with our foster girls (I will be doing an entire post on our experience with them...someday) we decided that we were not with the right agency for our us. While they had excellent training sessions, and the caseworker was very kind and really good at her job...the agency was just too small.  We felt that it did not have the broad accessibility to our county, and children in the age bracket we are thinking would be the best fit for our family. 

At that point, I was definitely discouraged.  We had begun the training process in January 2011, and were finally approved 10 months later  (November 2011).  Over the course of the following four months we only got two very unlikely referral calls (one was for 3 children under the age of 4).  Now, if there just weren't children that needed homes, that would be one thing.  If parents were doing what they were supposed to be doing and children were not being taken from their homes-then the lack of referrals would be understandable (and a great thing...to not even have a need for foster parents).  But, unfortunately that is not the case...there are still plenty of children waiting for stable, loving homes.

Upon doing some research, I realized that our current agency did not have a direct relationship with Berks and Lehigh counties...the two counties closest to our home.  In this research (I called those counties), I had asked them what their process for placing babies and children under the age of two looks like.  Berks first called upon their approved families and then "outsourced" (for lack of better word) to private agencies and Lehigh actually goes immediately to the private agencies.    A side note...we would have loved to have just been approved through Berks, but we were a whopping 2 MILES out of the traveling range of their central offices. It all came down to the county's lack of money/resources.  
Another side note, at this point we were doing some serious praying as to if adoption was the route God still wanted our family to go through.  I contemplated whether I was perhaps to try and get pregnant again? But, I continued to seek out another agency in the meanwhile as my desire was still very strong to foster and adopt.  And I still had an overwhelming desire to have more kids in our home (while Julia and Andrew are two blessings beyond explanation, something in me continued to feel our family is to be more than four).  

So upon calling the private agencies that the counties work with, I came across Diakon.  I felt really good about them.  We were thrilled to know that they are only 25 minutes away, that they have been around for awhile, that they have a good reputation, a Christian foundation, and a large amount of staff.

The initial training was two entire Saturdays in May.  The positive was that we were able to complete them in a timely manner.  The negative was that they were two absolutely gorgeous Spring days that we had to spend the entire day inside "relearning" lots information!  Of course we had our supportive parents to watch Julia and Andrew.   The training times were worth the "sacrifice." It was a great opportunity to have a good review, learn some new things, and to understand the agency more.  We were able to spend time together (we did steal  picnic lunches by a quaint little pond), and to confirm our continued desire to foster children who so desperately need loving homes.

So over the past few months we've been doing ALL of our paperwork AGAIN.  I try not to focus on the frustration of having to do that.  We try not to dwell on the seemingly wasted time and effort with our first agency.  We did what we thought was right at the time and for some reason, God wanted us to go through that long process.  It didn't bring us to where we hoped we'd be by now... but we have NO doubts that God wanted us to go down that road and that this journey will continue to be ordained by Him.

I'm so hopeful about where things are going. Diakon has been great so far. We had our interview last week (our caseworker is awesome), we have our homestudy July 23 and then they have 30-60 days to complete our profile.  After that, there is no way of telling how long it will be until we have a child in our home.  But, the encouraging thing is that they have one or two women whose primary job is to match families and kids in waiting.

Our first preference would be to have one child, boy or girl, any race, under the age of one.  But we are open to a sibling group of two and children up to the age of four.  We'd like to be as open as possible, with taking our current family genetics into consideration.

It's difficult to describe the place where I"m at right now.  When I first got pregnant, I knew that most likely I would be having a helpless little infant in my arms in approximately 9 months. The excitement, anticipations, and apprehensions grew as my belly grew.  There were physical, emotional, and mental signs that the arrival was getting closer and closer.  This current situation, on the other hand rocks my "desire to be in control" world. How do you prepare mentally, not knowing at all how your family is going to look in 2 months, let alone 9 months?
For now, I just take a deep breath, take the next step and take all comfort in knowing that the Creator knows.  Really, none of us know what our family is going to look like even tomorrow.  I know all too well, that life is fragile and that our next breath is not promised to us.  The Lord gives and takes away in His sovereignty.  It our prayer that in His timing, He gives us the perfect little girl or boy to be our daughter or son, and the kids sister or brother...to be part of the Derstine family for one week..or a lifetime.  Waiting on God isn't always easy, but it is exciting and I wouldn't want it any other way.