Guess What!?!?! STILL waiting:(

i'm in need of encouragement today...
we had our interview last week at the norristown office..it seemed to go really well, our caseworker said we interviewed well and the child's caseworker said we interviewed well.
at that point they had a couple other families to interview and told us they would decide by the end of the next week (which would today).
last week and over the weekend, i was surprisingly collected and at peace about whatever happens and not super-anxious to hear anything.
I truly haven't had any strong feelings either way (like whether or not we will be having him in our family).

 well, this week each day has been increasingly more difficult.  i was able to touch base with my case worker yesterday and she said the child's caseworker would be deciding and would let us know today. i am so hopeful to hear something bc i really don't feel like having this uncertainty all weekend.

i realllly wish that i could mentally put this in the back of my mind, but i am having a tough time.  we found out about mathew almost a month ago..so it's been on my mind for a long time.  fostering has been on my mind for even longer as we started the process 2 years ago.

i feel totally confident in my heart that God has everything all worked out and that ONLY He knows every piece of the puzzle and that His timing is perfect, but my mind and my body (my stomach has been a wreck and i'm becoming very irritable and having trouble focusing!) are tougher to get under control! I sometimes wonder if I am strong enough to do this.  Let me rephrase that, i know I am not strong enough in myself, i'm not sure if I am strong enough in  my faith to depend on Him with every step. He assures me of His love and sovereignty everyday, i just need to focus on those truths and not my fleshly need for control.  that's tough. to. do.